When I started this thing, I told myself that I was going to stay active with it, that I was going to post several times a week.  And I was really excited about it.

But then real life happened.

I’m a teacher, which is great.  Except that teaching jobs are hard to come by in this neck of the woods.  I’ve actually been searching for a full time job for five years now.  I’ve had part time teaching jobs, and long term sub jobs, but nothing that stick.  And so now, I am teaching full time in a job that is ending in a couple of weeks, and frantically applying for new jobs.

I’m getting a lot of calls.  Six job interviews in two weeks is nothing to slouch about.  But it’s hard.  No one seems to understand that I still feel a kind of loyalty to the students that I have been working with all year.  I want to stay with them, and help them do their best, until the end.  And when I have to take days off for these interviews, I feel like I’m letting them down.

And on top of that, job interviews are SO TAXING.  You’re asked the same variants of about ten questions, and you answer, hoping to appeal to that school’s sensibility.  And you get psyched up and nervous, so when you’re done, you just want to sleep.  AND THEN, you get your damn hopes up, only to hear that they are going with someone with more experience.  Well how am I supposed to get experience if you don’t give it to me?!

How many times can I listen to someone tell me I am not quite good enough?  What am I going to do if I don’t get a job?