Classic Stories and Modern Tales

Category: stress (Page 2 of 2)

The waiting game

I hate waiting.

I don’t consider myself the most proactive person out there or anything, but I would rather be working for my own destiny than waiting for something to happen.

Waiting and waiting and waiting.

I’m sure the anxiety doesn’t help.  I get sick to my stomach.  I get shaky.  I forget out to breathe.  And I agonize.  I agonize over the wait and every little detail.

Tomorrow I find out if I have a job still or not.  Maybe.  How am I supposed to wait for that?

How am I supposed to get over my waiting nerves?  How can I keep my mind off of it?

And what do I do if it’s bad news?

TIME.

I wish there were 25, 30 hours in a day.  This past week I have been stressing myself out over everything I have to do, everything that needs to be done, and everything that I want to do.

At work, there is reams of paperwork to do, plus essays and projects to grade, plus lesson-planning to accomplish.  All this on top of actually, you know, teaching.  And interacting with the students and my colleagues.

When I get home, there is an apartment to clean (who knew I would be such a neat freak before I moved into my own place?), books to read, writing to do, generally more stuff from work that I brought home.  Plus, I need to work out.  And cook.

Of course, all of this is if I’m not tired.  If I am tired?  Forget about it.  I don’t get anything done.

The worst is between the hours of 3 and 6.  I feel so drained that I am lucky if I can do anything with myself besides stare at a computer screen.  This three hours of dramatic nothingness puts me off schedule, which just stresses me out even more.  Then I work to quickly get things done, and it’s always a mess.

How do we find more time?  I want to write, I want to relax, I want to feel like I am not running from one place to another all of the time.  I hate being stressed.  I am done with being stressed.

So give me more time.  Please?

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