I am in the middle of grading midterms right now. This is what my apartment looks like. Ahhhh! Stressed stressed stressed!
Category: stress (Page 2 of 2)
I hate waiting.
I don’t consider myself the most proactive person out there or anything, but I would rather be working for my own destiny than waiting for something to happen.
Waiting and waiting and waiting.
I’m sure the anxiety doesn’t help. I get sick to my stomach. I get shaky. I forget out to breathe. And I agonize. I agonize over the wait and every little detail.
Tomorrow I find out if I have a job still or not. Maybe. How am I supposed to wait for that?
How am I supposed to get over my waiting nerves? How can I keep my mind off of it?
And what do I do if it’s bad news?
I wish there were 25, 30 hours in a day. This past week I have been stressing myself out over everything I have to do, everything that needs to be done, and everything that I want to do.
At work, there is reams of paperwork to do, plus essays and projects to grade, plus lesson-planning to accomplish. All this on top of actually, you know, teaching. And interacting with the students and my colleagues.
When I get home, there is an apartment to clean (who knew I would be such a neat freak before I moved into my own place?), books to read, writing to do, generally more stuff from work that I brought home. Plus, I need to work out. And cook.
Of course, all of this is if I’m not tired. If I am tired? Forget about it. I don’t get anything done.
The worst is between the hours of 3 and 6. I feel so drained that I am lucky if I can do anything with myself besides stare at a computer screen. This three hours of dramatic nothingness puts me off schedule, which just stresses me out even more. Then I work to quickly get things done, and it’s always a mess.
How do we find more time? I want to write, I want to relax, I want to feel like I am not running from one place to another all of the time. I hate being stressed. I am done with being stressed.
So give me more time. Please?
