Category: Uncategorized (Page 6 of 7)

Overwhelmed: A Teacher’s Life

August 25, 2015 / edohertyauthor

Do you ever get so overwhelmed with something that you can barely sit and do anything?

I start school in about a week and a half. It’s great. I am excited, and I know I’m a decent teacher. I mean, yes. It’s nervewracking. Will the students like me? Will I make any sense? Will I teach them everything they need to know? Will they like me? My class?

I’m kind of confident about all of this.

What has me overwhelmed is all of the preparing. I have to make lesson plans and get school supplies ready… (and being a new teacher, I only get a half a day in the school before school actually starts! That makes no sense). As soon as I get something done, I remember something else I have to do. My to-do list is never blank.

I know I’ll get it all done. I’ll make it happen, as long as I focus. But I keep staring at the to-do list, feeling the butterflies in my stomach. How am I supposed to focus when my brain is going in circles? Why can’t I have a day without this worry?

Writer’s Block

August 20, 2015 / edohertyauthor

There have probably been thousands or millions of blogs written about writer’s block. I hate being one of those people who adds to it, but I can’t help it. I’m so frustrated. I spend weeks planning a new story, and I start writing… And it all falls apart. This is the second time it has happened in the past few months.

I know I shouldn’t push it. I don’t want to push it. When I write, I want it to be something I’m proud of. But I have so many ideas in my head that I want to get out on paper. And I want to publish books. Plural. But how can I do it when I’m stuck?

Lately, I haven’t been able to find any time to write. And when I do think about it, my brain gets overwhelmed and crazy about all of the other things that I need to do in my life. I can’t even bring myself to finish editing the novel I actually have done.

How am I going to be a writer if I can’t get anything out onto paper? It’s just so completely frustrating. What do I do?

Where I learn to be better at constructive criticism…

August 12, 2015 / edohertyauthor

It’s only taken a couple of years, but I finally, FINALLY, convinced one of my friends to beta read my first novel. She read it in a night (which, I mean, I don’t write super in-depth stuff, no surprise), and she kept on texting me about how much she loved it, how great it was (not to brag or anything).

And I trust her. She’s one of my best friends, and I really trust her.

This morning, she sent me her notes. I read them first thing when I woke up. And I felt… angry.

Your main character needs some more obvious flaws.

She has flaws! Are you not reading? Her shyness? Her anxiety? ARE YOU NOT READING?

This part makes no sense.

Well, of course it makes sense! You read it in a night. Maybe you read it too fast.

My initial instinct was to be angry with her. Shouldn’t she think my story is perfect?

No. Of course not. And after a few deep breaths (and maybe a mile of running at the gym), I started thinking sensibly. She told me how much she liked it. Her notes were an attempt to make it better. So that when and if I publish it. It’s a GOOD book.

I might not use all of her ideas. But some? Some make sense. And maybe I am upset that my book isn’t perfect, but. I’m coming around. I can fix it.

Of course, that means revisions. (Ugh)

And what am I going to do when I publish it and more reviews start streaming in from anonymous strangers?

Exhausting summer

August 1, 2015 / edohertyauthor

By day, I am a teacher (though I much prefer my fancy “by night” title as a writer), and so because of that, summer should be my favorite season, right? Warm weather, no work, relaxing.

Except that I am a 20-something teacher who has yet to find a permanent job. I run a summer camp in the summer. You know, so I have money to live and whatnot. It’s long days in the heat and sun. Long days with dozens of kids, anxious parents, injuries, and hormonal young staff members. Long days of trying to make soccer and tag interesting for 8 hours a day. Long days of trying to make it a unique and pleasant experience for each one of the 60-70 kids who attend the program each day.

And I. Am. Exhausted.

It is 8:30 on a Friday night. I have already slept an hour since coming home from work, and I am planning on crawling into bed and sleeping in a few minutes.

Aren’t I supposed to be wild in my 20s?

Kids say the darndest things

July 23, 2015 / edohertyauthor

Working with kids is not easy. I can’t tell you how much it drains me, especially at my summer job, where I work with much younger kids than I do on the regular. So often I have come home from work and just wanted to pass out that I haven’t been able to write. In fact, it hurts my eyes to read or look at anything. It’s a taxing job. But there are great moments: making kids laugh, and getting hugs, and getting silly little gifts on your birthday.

Then again, there can be some… interesting moments when it comes to working with kids. Especially when you are a newly-minted late-20s person on your birthday. Things like:

Being told on your birthday that you look like you’re going to have a baby. Are you going to have a baby? Oh no.
Being given a birthday card that has a cake on it with 36 candles. And the number 36. The kids think you are 36.
On that same birthday card, seeing one of your major flaws drawn for all the world to see. I mean, you know it’s there and you come to peace with it, but you still don’t like it flaunted in your face.
Being given a My Little Pony doll, being expected to know what it is, and having no idea.
Being given 70 donuts. Literally. They gave me 70 donuts. (Munchkins, but STILL.)

Don’t get me wrong. My birthday was great. Still. Kids have a way of bringing up things that you don’t want to think about, don’t they?

Summer

July 15, 2015 / edohertyauthor

I thought about writing a post about the awful week I’ve had. Between grown-up decisions and research and dealing with crazy parents at the summer job, I needed to vent. But a part of me doesn’t want to dwell. It’s over and done. And good things are happening.

So. Instead of venting, I present to you: Reasons I love summer (in no particular order)

Ice cream
Sun
Warm days (although the northeast gets a little humid for me)
Blockbuster movies (here I come Ant Man)
More time to read
More time to exercise (when I can drag myself)
Hamburgers
Patio dining
Ice cream (yes, again)
Driving with the sunroof open
Time with friends
My birthday!

What do you love about summer?

Like the movies…

July 7, 2015 / edohertyauthor

Do you ever envision your life in the movies?

I don’t mean picturing you yourself in the movies, starring alongside Johnny Depp or Halle Berry or whatever. But more, do you picture yourself as one of the characters in the movie that you’re watching? Do you imagine what your life would be like if you were that character? Because I do.

And I sound totally pathetic.

But hear me out. As a teacher (who loves her job) slash summer camp counselor (maybe not so much) with no significant other and not much of a social life, there comes times when I like to lose myself in the movies.

When I was little, I would imagine myself as a spy as my class walked from our classroom to the library for reading time. Even my early writings drew a lot from the films that I love. (Why Liz, I hear you asking, does that mean that you wrote fanfiction? Oh yes. Yes it does. And the Harry Potter lover in me still misses it.)

Writing this blog was inspired by movie watching. Julie & Julia, which is about a bloggist, and Meryl Streep’s Julia Child impression. (What? I was in a Stanley Tucci mood.)

I don’t know. A part of me thinks that, from time to time, envisioning life as a movie can be good. It can break the monotony of, oh, I don’t know. A humid summer spent supervising hundreds of children as they play dodgeball and soccer over and over again. For me, it has helped me write on more than one occasion. Throwing my characters into a movie scene in my head, or turning something that I’m going through into a movie scene has helped me when the dreaded writers’ block hits.

And as long as I’m not living in my personal head movie all of the time, what’s wrong with it?

What’s your favorite movie, readers?

The Fourth Festivities

July 3, 2015 / edohertyauthor

I love the Fourth of July. It’s my favorite holiday.

For a little kid who was obsessed with Christmas for years, this is a big deal. There are no presents, no Santa Claus, less decorations when it comes to the Fourth of July. And certainly less build-up than there is to Christmas.

But there’s something special in the Fourth.

I’m not saying this out of patriotic loyalty. I am proud to be an American, but that is not where my joy in the Fourth comes from.

My family is very no-frills when it comes to the holidays. We celebrate, but not lavishly. Our celebrations for holidays usually last less than half a day. Quiet, quaint affairs in our household.

In that respect, the Fourth of July is no different. The location changes sometimes, but we never seek out fireworks or big parties or anything of the sort. Instead, we go to a neighbor’s house, sit on the deck, drink margaritas, and eat hamburgers. It’s not special, it’s not unique. We sit around and snack and talk and laugh. Usually into the night.

And I love every second of it.

I couldn’t describe why exactly. It’s calm and collected and surrounded by people I know and love. And maybe that’s it. There’s no airs put on. Just fun. And I always look forward to it.

What’s your favorite holiday, followers?

Goodbyes

June 26, 2015 / edohertyauthor

When I was little, I used to pride myself on not being emotional. “I’ve never cried during a movie,” I thought. “Except for Titanic.” But who could blame me there, really? She had to let go!

When I was a little bit older, I wondered if that was right. My friends cried over movies, over music, over breakups. They would sit around crying with each other over how terrible life was (we were teenagers, after all), while I would leave the room. I had a privileged life, not a whole lot of hardship, but even when tough or sad things happened to me, like my grandparents dying within two days of each other, I pushed through. I might have cried briefly and moved on. Found my way back to humor.

To this day, my friends tell me that Chandler is the Friend that I most resemble.

And that’s fine. I don’t mind being less emotional. It’s a lot less to worry about, and makeup is never a problem.

Except, I have become more emotional as I’ve grown up. I don’t cry at sad things, necessarily. But I cry when I am stressed out. I cry when I see my students performing in their school play or at the Thanksgiving Day Parade. I cry when my favorite actress finally wins her Tony Award.

And I cry at goodbyes. It’s a trait passed down to me by my uncle, who is famous in our family for crying whenever a big goodbye happens. And now I do the same.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not hardcore sobbing or anything. I just get choked up.

Today I said goodbye to the men and women at the school I have worked at for the past fourteen months. These people have seen me at my best and my worst. They’ve made me laugh and given me so much of themselves. It’s thanks to them that I am the teacher I am today, that I am confident in and love what I do. I can’t imagine not seeing them next year, not knowing what’s happening in their lives. It’s hard knowing that I won’t get to see my classroom anymore or tease my friends. Yes, a new chapter is starting in my life, but I am going to miss this old chapter so much.

And yay marriage equality!

Time for some big grown-up decisions

June 17, 2015 / edohertyauthor

I got offered a job! A real, live, actual teaching job.

Well, kind of. A year-long, long-term. At my old high school. Which means that all of my old teachers will now be my coworkers.

Okay, so it will be a little weird. And super awkward. But I honestly don’t mind. I’m shy and doubt I’ll talk to a lot of them, or make a lot of friends that I would hang out with on weekends. I’ll ignore all of the drama I’ve heard about. I will look on the bright side. I will put my nerves aside and be a great teacher.

But I am still anxious. There are still a few other jobs in the mix. Full-time, permanent positions. They’re at great schools, but they’re far away from my friends and family. I know I should take them if I were offered, but I’m terrified. How do I establish a life so far away from everything I know? In the middle of nowhere?

I know I shouldn’t worry about it yet. It’s not like I’ve been offered anything. I’m trying not to psych myself out about any of it. But it’s time for me to make some big grown-up decisions. I don’t know if I’m ready.