Teaching – Page 3 – Elizabeth Doherty

When I started this thing, I told myself that I was going to stay active with it, that I was going to post several times a week. And I was really excited about it.

But then real life happened.

I’m a teacher, which is great. Except that teaching jobs are hard to come by in this neck of the woods. I’ve actually been searching for a full time job for five years now. I’ve had part time teaching jobs, and long term sub jobs, but nothing that stick. And so now, I am teaching full time in a job that is ending in a couple of weeks, and frantically applying for new jobs.

I’m getting a lot of calls. Six job interviews in two weeks is nothing to slouch about. But it’s hard. No one seems to understand that I still feel a kind of loyalty to the students that I have been working with all year. I want to stay with them, and help them do their best, until the end. And when I have to take days off for these interviews, I feel like I’m letting them down.

And on top of that, job interviews are SO TAXING. You’re asked the same variants of about ten questions, and you answer, hoping to appeal to that school’s sensibility. And you get psyched up and nervous, so when you’re done, you just want to sleep. AND THEN, you get your damn hopes up, only to hear that they are going with someone with more experience. Well how am I supposed to get experience if you don’t give it to me?!

How many times can I listen to someone tell me I am not quite good enough? What am I going to do if I don’t get a job?

There are always stories in my head. In fact, there are often more stories than I can keep track of most of the time. I’ve loved writing since I was a little kid with my nose stuck in my first chapter book. I’ve always written for fun, and I love it.

Unfortunately, I also love my day job. I’m a teacher, and as crazy and hectic as it can be, I love it. I love the kids and the struggles and the chaos. I love being that completely nerdy teacher that my students roll their eyes about.

But here is the problem. Teaching and writing don’t always mix. Even when I come home, my work isn’t done. There’s work to grade, emails to respond to, lessons to plan, and the general worry hanging over my head that I’ve messed up my students for life. It’s stressful.

The worst part about it all is that after a full 8+ hour day of teaching, I can’t do anything else. Words don’t want to come, and I certainly don’t want to sit up at a computer for hours and write a story. Even now, I am forcing myself to sit here and write this. My eyes are heavy and painful. I’m easily annoyed and brought to tears at the drop of a hat.

SO VERY TIRED.

And yet, there’s this story in my head, clamoring to get out. It’s been there for days, weeks, months. The only work I’ve been able to do on it is choose two names that I like to name my female protagonist. Because as exciting as it all is (and starting a new novel is one of my favorite things in the world), all’s I want to do is sleep until I don’t feel so uncomfortable anymore.

But look… so shiny…

Tag: Teaching (Page 3 of 3)

The one where job interviews are beating the crap out of me

The perils of being employed full time — at something other than authoring